I have 2 images to share with you, but I’m going to make you wait for them.
Back in the December I tore my piriformis muscle and I have been dealing with the pain from that for the past 4 months. I have rested and iced. I have applied heat and taken Advil. I have gone to the doctor and been prescribe steroids and gotten shots. I have stretched and used my foam roller. I have prayed and had others praying. I have gone to very good physical therapy.
If there was anything that I have heard over the past four months it is, “You are doing all the things you are supposed to do. It just takes time. Keep doing those things.”
As this has progressed, it has stood out to me that I have to recognize the progress that I have made. As 3 months turned to 4, and I thought, “This is ridiculous, I am going to hurt forever,” I started to hear a little voice that said, “Now, wait a minute here…” As I took a second to evaluate how I was actually doing, I remembered there was a point where I could barely walk without support. There were times I couldn’t sit because the pain was so great and a quarter of my body was numb. I had to be compassionate to myself, sure, and cut myself slack, but I also had to celebrate progress.
It is in celebrating progress that I share the first image.
Y’all, this might not look like much, and please, stay focused and don’t get lost in admiring my Feliz Navidad jammie pants, but to me, this is a huge celebration. On Sunday morning, I sat criss cross applesauce on the floor for the entire online church service. That’s right, that’s like an hour and some minutes. Some. Like plus. On the floor. AND then when it was finished, I got up….and I moved…and I didn’t have to go lie on an ice pack or take Tylenol or anything!
It is not lost on me that this Sunday’s sermon was on healing. As I sat there, pretty impressed with myself, I listened as our pastor shared truth about how God heals our wounds. It really drove his points home, and they were so good I want to share them again.
1. God is close to the broken hearted.
There were times that I thought my physical pain was dragging on too long, that it was too much for me to deal with. When I found myself in those moments, I don’t believe it was some good instinct in me that told myself to be kind to myself, but also have perspective. My inner voice agreed with me that this pain was too much. No, I believe that still small voice was God’s. And this has been true in my life with emotional wounds as well.
2. God binds up their wounds.
I’d have prefered to have heard “God is close to the broken hearted and He poof zappy heals their wounds.” I am not discrediting that God can and does heal people in a moment. But it is also true that he binds up wounds. Pastor Adrian described wrapping a wound, and it was like I could see the bandage going round and round. It takes a minute. It is not meant to magically heal, but to stabalize. Why would God choose to stabalize instead of just fix it fast? I think, perhaps because as He heals he relies on His design and He relies on His training to use our healing time to strengthen us better than a quick fix.
During this “stay home” time, I have needed to take walks, because I don’t have a home gym. I can do my stretches and strength building exercises in my living room, but I can’t get everything I need that way. And because I have to walk, I have taken my children to the park path. I have walked my neighborhood streets. I have waved to neighbors and talked (at a safe distance) to friends. I have begun to identify trees and flowers. I have taken in sunshine and fresh air. I have listened to the songs of birds. I have put my eyes on our mountains and remembered to look up. Quite honestly, if I didn’t have to walk, I probably wouldn’t have. This has been perscriptive not just for my hip, but for my soul.
3. I have to choose it.
Pastor Adrian shared about the paralytic who had waited by the water for years, trying to get healing. Years, not 4 months. Again, perspective. Jesus comes and asks him if he wants to be healed. What an absurd question.
It would be rude…except, Jesus isn’t questioning, he’s offering. It isn’t as if Jesus walked up to a starving man and said, “If you’re hungry, why don’t you eat something?” It would be like Jesus came to a starving man, set a banquet table in front of him and said, “Do you want to eat?”
This is where Pastor Adrian made this point…and here is the 2nd image…
Man, was that convicting.
Someone recently said the same message to me recently, and it shocked me. I responded in a way that I meant to be kind, meant to be comforting, and I do believe that the person is deserving of both kindness and comfort. But when I heard the words again on Sunday I thought, boy, if we focus only on kindness and comfort, we might just completely miss the healing.
Because healing isn’t just about comfort. It’s about stabilizing. It is about exercise. It is about progress and process.
We are all walking with a limp right now, some worse than others. But my hope is that we can walk towards healing. My hope is that people will feel the Lord is close to them in this woudned time. My hope is that I know God binds up wounds. My hope is that we will feel His stabilization. My hope is that we will choose healing, and choose it again and again and again , day after day, as we seek to heal bodies, to heal divides, to heal relationships, to heal our economy, to heal our land, and to heal our hearts.
Praying for all who are aware of their wounds this morning.
Sarah Kinzer 